Searching For Hope Is Mission Impossible
Hi it’s me again :)… I do know that it’s been over a century since I wrote a post on this blog but I promise that from now on I am gonna post here more regularly, Inshallah… So on Tuesday the 13th of July the results of our final year exams finally appeared and we all passed with flying colours-me and all of my close friends and good colleagues… That’s right guys, from now on my official title is gonna be Dr Lubna Q. Naji MD 🙂
OK, enough with the gloating already! I am not gonna start my career as a doctor until late December-early January, so I am gonna enjoy a rather long break until then… Some of my good friends have chosen to travel either to Kurdistan Al Iraq or abroad with their families during the summer holiday inorder to escape the incredible summer heat, but I due to some special personal circumstances am destined to spend my break at home… Am I whining here or what ? I must remember not to whine that often 🙂
Anyway, these days I keep thinking about what kind of Iraq I am gonna practice medicine in as a junior doctor within five months from now… I mean within five months from now what’s gonna change ? It’s been almost five months since the parliamentary elections and we still have no functioning new government or parliament…. I must admit that I do feel kind of betrayed by all of our politicians, I feel fool for putting my faith and trust in people who didn’t deserve it… I cannot believe that I once thought that those people could actually change things down here for the better, I was such a fool and naive but I am now disillusioned…. Now I do know for sure that the only thing those people do actually care about is how to reach power, they do not care about ordinary Iraqis whatsoever, in fact our best interests come at the bottom of their priority list, they do not mind foreign interference in our internal affairs as long as those foreign agendas help them out reach power even if that means compromising our national sovereignty… What a disappointment, what a huge disappointment!
When it comes to the status of basic public services such as electricity, water supplies, ect., ect., the situation is as gloomy as it could be… The government gives us electricity 3-4 hours a day and very rarely that could reach up to 6 hours a day, so we solely depend on private generators inorder to get electricity, we pay the generator guy (who’s also our neighbour) 150,000 Iraqi dinars a month so that he will give us electricity 24/7…. But the problem is that not all Iraqis can afford the quite high prices determined by the private generators’ owners, and the heat of Iraqi summer is truely intolerable (up to 50 degrees on some days, mostly up to 45 degrees), and so the level of frustration amongst ordinary Iraqis regarding the seemingly eternal electricity problem is actually very high, and the thing that bugs the most is that apparantly the state couldn’t care less about it, the Iraqi minister of electricity Karim Waheed resigned, so what ? Where’s the action ? What are the steps taken inorder to deal with the situation promptly and quickly aside from media statements ? Nothing, absolutely nothing!
And also the over-all security situation is still quite volatile (although things are actually pretty much better than they used to be before in 2006-2007, that’s fair to say), but violent attacks directed against innocent civilians and Iraqi security forces all over Iraq are still a regular occurance, Iraq is still a pretty dangerous enviroment, and the current political deadlock may make things even more worrying than they already are, because violence in order to achieve a political purpose is a very common Iraqi thing… And yet it’s fair to say that now I am kind of less afraid than I used to be before, wandering about in Baghdad is now quite less dangerous than before… I do not know, may be it’s because over the years we have become more used to it all, like developing some sort of a mental shield that enables us to pursue our daily lives in a normal or semi-normal way and avoid being paralysed by fear as much as possible… Humans adapt, that’s what they do… And our ways of adaptation differ, sometimes we may even try to pretend that nothing has actually happened, you know, like trying to ignore it all completely and blocking it out from our memory…. Will all of that have long term mental, psychological, and even health consequences ???? SURE, we’ll just have to wait and see….
Oh my God, thinking about all of this and then writing it down has made me feel quite blue… Sometimes hope for us and our Iraq just seems so far away… But one must always leave a space, even if very tiny, for hope and optimism, otherwise life would be absolutely impossible to live… Hey, tomorrow is my only sister’s Layla’s wedding, now that’s a very good reason to be hopeful and optimistic-even if for one day period….
With my love… Yours sincerely, Lubna N in Baghdad…